Don't blame everyone.
Address someone.
When you address "everyone," you address no one. Collective blame feels fair but achieves nothing.
Every now and then, in group chats, Slack channels, and team emails, someone posts something like this:
"Hey everyone, someone left dirty dishes in the sink again. Let's all be more mindful about cleaning up after ourselves. Thanks!"
This message will change precisely zero behavior. Here's what every reader thinks:
"They're probably not talking about me."
Why this fails
- Diffusion of responsibility. When everyone is responsible, no one is responsible. This is the same psychological mechanism behind the bystander effect.
- No consequences. The message ends with "Thanks!" — there's no incentive to change. People optimize for the path of least resistance.
- Defensive reactions. Public blame triggers self-protection, not self-reflection. The actual culprits think: "What a drama over nothing."
- Wrong timing. Behavioral intervention works during or immediately after the action — not days later via a passive-aggressive message.
- Social cost to the sender. The person who sends these messages becomes known as "the complainer" while achieving nothing.
What works instead
If you know who did it: talk to them directly and privately. If you don't know: build a system that prevents the problem or assigns clear ownership.
The uncomfortable truth
Collective blame is comfortable because it avoids confrontation. It feels like you're "addressing the issue" without the awkwardness of a direct conversation.
But that comfort comes at a cost: nothing changes. You've vented your frustration into the void and annoyed everyone who wasn't responsible.
Direct communication is harder. It requires you to identify the actual problem, talk to the actual person, and have an actual conversation. But it's the only thing that works.